Saturday, March 27, 2010
When I grow up, I wanna be....
The Echo. 1975. My high school yearbook from the year I graduated, 35 years ago... I keep this yearbook, along with all the others, up in my attic - buried under a pile of crap. And while looking through it, I realized how much I TRULY don't miss high school. This was not part of the 'best years of my life'.
I was not a popular girl. I didn't have a crowd of friends, or a string of boyfriends. I was quiet, ascared of everything, very unsure of myself... well, hell - I haven't changed much since then. I glanced at the senior portraits, which included little tidbits about ourselves. My nicknames, 'Floyd and Mousey' (don't remember why I was called mousey);my dislikes, 'being called short'; my likes, 'a certain guy's big brown eyes (I think that might have been a guy named Jack); my future hopes - being a journalist.
I was not an involved student - I went to class, got average grades, had a few close friends and mainly tried to stay OUT of the line of sight of the popular kids. They certainly weren't about to include me in their lives. The first few years of high school I spent my time trying to be just like THEM. Didn't work. All it did was make them look at me like I had two heads. The only club I joined was the school newspaper and magazine. With the other misfits. ;-)
I was not the girl that the boys wanted to bring home to meet their parents. I had a slender body and very large tatas. Of course, that meant I was fast and loose. (insert rolling eyes here) If you had large tatas, it meant you were automatically a slut. So I had this incredibly bad reputation, for no reason. I was a virgin until my 18th birthday. But you would have NEVER known that by the boys in my senior class. I apparently slept with most of them. And a few juniors, too. And possibly some of their older brothers.
It wasn't until I was long out of high school that I realized those 4 years were DONE, over, and not to be held in my memory any longer. LET it go.
So this is me, letting it GO. Goodbye Roxbury High School, Class of 1975. You don't impact my life at all anymore.