Saturday, November 7, 2009

The face of disorder...

Is sometimes not the face you expect. I look in the mirror every day, expecting to see normalcy. And then I laugh... because I'm so far left of normal that I'm out of the ball park.

As I stare into my own eyes, I check off my faults, issues and phobias... and then I amaze myself by not breaking down and crying. How does a person cover up such damage?

I have an eating disorder. I'm a recovering alcoholic. My self esteem can't get any lower than it already is. I have a HUGE need to feel validated by other people every waking moment. I'm clingy and obsessive. I have anger issues.

Yet I LOOK normal. It's just when I stare into my own eyes that I see the damage.

The face of disorder... sometimes you never know.