Saturday, November 7, 2009

The face of disorder...


Is sometimes not the face you expect. I look in the mirror every day, expecting to see normalcy. And then I laugh... because I'm so far left of normal that I'm out of the ball park.

As I stare into my own eyes, I check off my faults, issues and phobias... and then I amaze myself by not breaking down and crying. How does a person cover up such damage?

I have an eating disorder. I'm a recovering alcoholic. My self esteem can't get any lower than it already is. I have a HUGE need to feel validated by other people every waking moment. I'm clingy and obsessive. I have anger issues.

Yet I LOOK normal. It's just when I stare into my own eyes that I see the damage.

The face of disorder... sometimes you never know.

4 comments:

Carrielyn said...

Awww, Tig! Normal is fiction. It's an overrated goal that not one person can reach. Some of us are just more INTRESTING than others, which is NOT always a bad thing.

lkeener said...

It's not the phobias and disorders that you should count. It's the people who love you. Cuz, baby, we far outnumber your imperfections!

Donna said...

Normal is highly over-rated and often boring.

Your "quirks" make you unique and fun.

Now BLOG woman.

Gypsichic said...

normal, like security or control, is an illusion.

i'm available for Text Therapy ;)