Sunday, June 27, 2010

Baking The Bod and Tanning The Tatas

This is my new lounge chair. Some of you are aware of the angst that occurred during the lounge chair search. I have to say, the wait was worth it. I ended up with exactly what I wanted. Or at least I thought I did.

Now. How do I tell him that I still can't lay (lie?) on my stomach because it's too uncomfortable?

It's not the chair's fault. It's the tatas. What I have discovered is that I can only tan my back when I'm in the sand and can dig out a nice hole for the tatas to drop into.

I don't care who sees me do it. I sculpt a beautiful hole, perfectly sized and placed, and then drop 'em in. And then I'm done for 30 minutes or until my arms fall asleep. Whichever comes first.

So you should visualize my body right now. I've been tanning my front for well over a month. I'm pretty damn tan. Until I turn my back on you.

I have a brown frontside and a white backside. And I have 5 days until I can drop the tatas into sand... so if you see me in the grocery store, please try not to stare at my backside.

And by backside I don't mean my arse. Although if you want to stare at that, go ahead. Just don't comment on it's whiteness. Spanks...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Fitting in...

Met up with 8 people from high school last night. I put my Brave Girl pants on, and went by myself... Out of the 8, one is my friend, the others I barely knew...

But I knew they were the cool kids. And I wasn't that cool kid. And it was the most surreal feeling in the world to be sitting there with them, talking and laughing as if I were a part of their world. (remember that high school world that I said I was saying goodbye to and putting behind me? Yah. I lied)

I kept wondering how I would appear to them. If they would like me. If I looked good enough. If I laughed enough, or talked too much... or if I was boring and painful to listen to.

Does that feeling of awkwardness ever go away? Considering my age, I guess not.

These people were nothing but nice, warm, caring and fun. I just couldn't shake the old feelings of inadequacy. Always wanting to be better, and prettier, and funnier and, well... just FIT IN with the cool kids.

I'm so glad I went, and that I stayed... and all I want to know is what they said about me after I left. ;-)

I crack myself up sometimes.