Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Factoids.

Love that word. Factoid. Almost sounds naughty. Actually, reminds me of the word hemorrhoid, which makes me do the :evil6: face.

Little known tigger factoid #1:

I can Irish Step Dance. There is actually video of this on the Dawg somewhere. I took lessons when I was 10... and I know 2 different dances.

Little known tigger factoid #2:

Lentils tried to kill me. No lie... First time I ever had lentils - I made this incredibly complicated soup that hb found in a magazine... Now, FIRST of all, lentils taste like mud. SECOND of all, they gave me the worst and first acid reflux attack in my life. To the point that I woke up hb at 1am figuring he needed to call 911. I hate lentils, and a lentil will never cross my lips again.

Little known tigger factoid #3:

When I was a young child, I appeared at the top of the stairs... in front of a houseful of people... stark nekkid with sneakers on and a tennis racket in my hand and announced "Anyone for TENTIS?" My brothers can vouch for this. And yes, I said TENTIS. Not tennis.

Little known tigger factoid #4, 5, 6, 7 & 8:

ok - so not so little known. Ok - FINE. EVERYBODY knows these. I will not make left turns. I will not eat, look at or say 'b****e pasta'. I will scream bloody murder if a moth lands on me, or within 10' of me. Clowns should not be allowed to walk this earth. Dolls with eyes that open and close should be buried in a landfill never to be heard from again.

Little known tigger factoid #9:

I have to put my left sock or left shoe on first. If I force myself to do my right one first, I will start to twitch and take it back off again so that I can start with the left side.

Little known, and last, tigger factoid #10:

I can't clap to a beat. I will go into panic mode if asked to do this. You've seen Elaine on Seinfeld dance? That's how I clap to a beat.

And just for the hell of it - a short explanation of some of the things I say:

Spanks instead of thanks. I picked this up years ago from Amber. I can't stop. You can't make me.

Ascared instead of scared or afraid. I picked this up from Chip many years ago, and now it's just second nature. People look at me funny when I say it, but I don't care.

Dammit. The best curse word ever and ever amen.

HB. Many of you think that stands for hubby. LOL It doesn't. Message board lingo would be DH. For Dear Husband, or DICK HEAD, whichever applies. HB stands for Hawt Bobby. The Cell nicknamed him that after the first beach crop... so all of you that refer to him as HB? Yeah. You're calling him HAWT.

Which brings me to...

Cell. The cell is Me, Donna, Schnauz and Barb. Many years ago we decided that the four of us together equaled one brain cell. (which isn't a good thing)

Nekkid. Another Chipism.

Nekkid banana dance. That one is pure message board - the dancing banana emoticon. I always banana dance when I'm happy, and when I'm REALLY happy, I do it nekkid. That's when you'll get ":banana: <----- Nekkid"

And finally, last but not least... (and if you've read THIS MUCH - you need to get a life) what you'll find inside my pocketbook:

wallet, check stubs from the past 2 months, old coupons from Michaels and Sally's, 3 pens, reading glasses, a little Big Book, saline solution, a razor blade disguised as a lipstick, cough drops and gum wrappers, sunglasses, cell phone charger, hair clips, gum, business cards, keys (2 sets), makeup, cell phone.

:) Enjoy your day.

1 comment:

AndyBSA said...

Concerning the "tentis" episode, was that in high school?