Strong Women

I find that as I get older I am surrounding myself with very strong women. *I* am not a strong woman. I am a follower.
It's funny to me that a follower annoys the crap out of me.
And I wonder if I annoy the crap out of my strong friends.

Random

I've joined FaceBook. Under great duress. It's one of those things where I can't stand everyone being involved in something that I'm NOT. (sigh) They might talk about me.

So FB is interesting - but kinda boring. I have all my mb friends, and both of my brothers, and a niece... and one girl from high school that sent me a friend request. I certainly didn't join FB to hook up with high school people. I was happy to get away!

The good part is connecting with my one brother - we don't have a lot of communication between us for a thousand reasons - but on FB we can be friends and have some fun together. It was well worth it.

I guess I'm just a message board girl at heart. That's where I feel my most comfortable.

What else...

I went grocery shopping this morning, and I believe that I was in the company of the most annoying and idiotic women EVER in my history of grocery shopping. So that sucked. One woman had a cell phone to her ear the entire time, trying to push her full cart with one hand. Doesn't work you idiot. Another had her sick daughter with her - I guess around 7 years old - this kid was SO sick - coughing, fever, lethargic... now, I understand needing to get to the store whether you have a sick kid or not, but a full GROCERY SHOP???? Perusing labels???? Your kid should be in BED you idiot. Or the woman behind me in line that had her cart so close to mine that they almost got attached. Back off you idiot!!

What else...

I haven't wanted to post an update because I hate not having my Tim right on top saying he misses me and blowing me a kiss. I wonder if there's a way to add that as a permanent part of the blog. Hmmm. Need techy people.

What else...

Oh, update on the pain. Thanks to those that have asked. I never got back on here to update that it was NOT RA - it's degenerative osteo arthritis. Pain is controlled with Aleve for now - when that stops helping we'll discuss something stronger. So that's actually GOOD news!

What else...

I have a scrap room FINALLY!!! Bobby built me the most amazing table, that fits right over the bed in the spare room. That way, if we get overnight company, the table can come off with little to no trouble. I find myself scrapping at the most unusual times... lol

What else...

Nada. Over and out!

Does it get any better than this?

Janette went to CHA... and got me this...

Pain...

It's become a part of my life and I don't like it. One week from today I visit the RA specialist. I'm still not convinced that's what I have - but we'll start there.
I try not to be a complainer... really I do. But I'm so tired of pain. And not knowing where the pain is going to be from hour to hour...
I swear it's hit every joint and bone at some point over the past few months. My right index finger has a knuckle that is almost twice the size of the others, is SO sore - crunches - stiff - sometimes unbendable... yet the xray showed nothing remarkable. HOW could there be NOTHING there? You can SEE it... and I feel it.
I have had some days that I can't bear to even get out of a chair and DO something. I find myself being crankier (yes - more than normal) because I'm constantly not feeling good.
And then there are hours that I feel GREAT. NO pain... the Aleve has helped, but the pain breaks through every once in a while. But those hours are few and far between.
And other than my Lexapro (and thank GOD for my Lexapro) I detest taking medication. So if this doctor says "this pill will make you feel better but you have to take it every day"... well CRAP. I feel like I may never not hurt again.
Can you tell I'm having a painful day? Doesn't stop me from typing though. In fact sometimes my hands feel BETTER when I'm busy with them.
And just for the record? If my hands become so bad that I have trouble scrapping, take me out back and shoot me.
If you've made it this far - thanks for listening.

Focus

Focus. My word for 2009 is Focus. Something that over the past few years I have grown NOT to do.
I need to focus my attention. I need to focus on my health. I need to focus on my family. I need to focus on my job.
In the past I have failed at focusing my attention on ONE thing. My mind has a mind of it's own. While watching tv I am thinking about scrapping, or reading, while reading I am thinking about what's on tv or who's online, while online I'm thinking about what's going to happen at work next week or how much my hands hurt and what will happen with that.
Well, I'm going to STOP that. I want to give things my ALL. And first and foremost is getting through this RA bullshit.

So... FOCUS dammit. FOCUS.

Hmmmm... what to talk about.

I'm feeling the need to talk about Tim Holtz again. Not sure why - but he's weighing on my mind for some reason.

I email him about once very 3 weeks or so - the busier he's gotten, the longer it takes for a response, but he always writes back.

Now, I don't kid myself that I'm the only one that emails him (insert big rolling eyes here) and that he responds to. (was that a dangling participle?) But every time I see a response in my inbox, my heart does a little pitter patter thing.

I think it's kind of funny that in MY world, he is a huge thing. To me he is someone famous, someone that thousands of people want to know, someone that people pay lots of $$ to meet, and learn from, someone that people want to touch, talk to, interact with, hug, laugh with, drink with, eat with, be friends with.

In HIS world, I am someone that he's never met, has emailed with for .. a few years, I'm just like hundreds of other people in his internet world.

In MY world, he is most special.

In HIS world, I am one of his fans.

He's an incredibly gifted, kind, generous and dammit SO cute, individual. Why is it so important to me to be part of HIS world????? Makes NO sense.

I am a 51 year old, happily married, semi-well adjusted woman. WHY is it important to me that I am known as his friend? Crazy shit. And that poor guy is probably shaking in his boots that this crazy lady from NJ is stalking him. ROFL!

I swear Tim - NO stalking is involved!!!! Except for stalking your blog, hoping to win a giveaway one of these days. Or a tshirt.

Maybe one day my wildest dreams will come true, and I will meet the man that inspires me every day to create, to experiment, to try new things and make art.

The Butterfly Project

I absolutely LOVE this - please help - I'm going to work on my butterflies and get them sent off to Texas...
Such a great idea for schools, or youth organizations - we can make this happen!!..


The Butterfly Project