Focus

Focus. My word for 2009 is Focus. Something that over the past few years I have grown NOT to do.
I need to focus my attention. I need to focus on my health. I need to focus on my family. I need to focus on my job.
In the past I have failed at focusing my attention on ONE thing. My mind has a mind of it's own. While watching tv I am thinking about scrapping, or reading, while reading I am thinking about what's on tv or who's online, while online I'm thinking about what's going to happen at work next week or how much my hands hurt and what will happen with that.
Well, I'm going to STOP that. I want to give things my ALL. And first and foremost is getting through this RA bullshit.

So... FOCUS dammit. FOCUS.

Hmmmm... what to talk about.

I'm feeling the need to talk about Tim Holtz again. Not sure why - but he's weighing on my mind for some reason.

I email him about once very 3 weeks or so - the busier he's gotten, the longer it takes for a response, but he always writes back.

Now, I don't kid myself that I'm the only one that emails him (insert big rolling eyes here) and that he responds to. (was that a dangling participle?) But every time I see a response in my inbox, my heart does a little pitter patter thing.

I think it's kind of funny that in MY world, he is a huge thing. To me he is someone famous, someone that thousands of people want to know, someone that people pay lots of $$ to meet, and learn from, someone that people want to touch, talk to, interact with, hug, laugh with, drink with, eat with, be friends with.

In HIS world, I am someone that he's never met, has emailed with for .. a few years, I'm just like hundreds of other people in his internet world.

In MY world, he is most special.

In HIS world, I am one of his fans.

He's an incredibly gifted, kind, generous and dammit SO cute, individual. Why is it so important to me to be part of HIS world????? Makes NO sense.

I am a 51 year old, happily married, semi-well adjusted woman. WHY is it important to me that I am known as his friend? Crazy shit. And that poor guy is probably shaking in his boots that this crazy lady from NJ is stalking him. ROFL!

I swear Tim - NO stalking is involved!!!! Except for stalking your blog, hoping to win a giveaway one of these days. Or a tshirt.

Maybe one day my wildest dreams will come true, and I will meet the man that inspires me every day to create, to experiment, to try new things and make art.

The Butterfly Project

I absolutely LOVE this - please help - I'm going to work on my butterflies and get them sent off to Texas...
Such a great idea for schools, or youth organizations - we can make this happen!!..


The Butterfly Project

5 years...

Hard to believe that 5 years ago today I said good-bye to Annie. It's still as fresh in my mind, and as sharp in my memory, as it was the day she died. Those years have tempered the pain a bit - and opening up here a while back helped - but I still think of her daily and miss her all the time.

Especially when I'm putting groceries away, which is something I just did. That was my phone call time with her.

So today I'm going to raise my glass of wine, toast my mother, and tell her again how much I love her and miss her.

Thanks for being my mother, Annie...

I am an Ingrid!

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.


• * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.


• * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.


• * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.


• * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

• * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level


• * my ability to establish warm connections with people


• * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life


• * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor


• * being unique and being seen as unique by others


• * having aesthetic sensibilities


• * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

• * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair


• * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved


• * feeling guilty when I disappoint people


• * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me


• * expecting too much from myself and life


• * fearing being abandoned


• * obsessing over resentments


• * longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

• * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games


• * are very sensitive


• * feel that they don't fit in


• * believe they are missing something that other people have


• * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.


• * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood


• * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

• * help their children become who they really are


• * support their children's creativity and originality


• * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings


• * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective


• * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

San Antonio!

Got to see a bunch of my Dawgs - Kat (an amazing tour guide), Jeanne, Cynthia, My Barb, Lori and STEVE!

Wanna see some pics?



A great time. A great place. I love TEXAS! Riverwalk was amazing, I could have spent my entire trip just walking around and drinking in the sights. ;-)

Random thoughts...

Since I haven't updated in a MONTH - that's terrible - I will update with random items.

I have begun my diet and exercise regimen. It sucks. I have lost one pound. 7 more to go. As I drink my glass of wine, I glance down at my thighs and say... screw it.

It's a cool, rainy evening. I have a small fire going in the franklin stove and it's cozy. I will probably fall asleep in front of it. At 8:05.

My new addiction on Fridays is watching Wife Swap. It's on in the afternoon on ... I think it's Lifetime. There's some crazy shit on those shows. I would LOVE to do that, but we don't have kids, so I guess they'd never use us.

My hawt UPS guy got married. ((sigh)) Oh well. Life goes on.

Heading to San Antonio in less than a month. ADA convention. Lots of dentists. WOOhoo. (can you HEAR my eyes rolling?) Should be a good time though - lots of fun in the evenings at least. I'll get to see some Dawgs, and hang out with My Kat...

My Tim was on QVC and I didn't get to see him. I had to watch it after the fact on QVC.com. No fair. He's still my #1 obsession. There's a drive on his blog to get him on the Oprah show. I say the hell with that. How about "Tim Holtz the Show"? They could film it in NJ and I could be a production assistant. I'd wipe his brow and fetch his drinks.

Wine tastes good.

Tomorrow is Family Day at Ramapo College where Larissa is starting her Junior year. We are attending. It's supposed to rain. I'm praying for beer. We have "family day"; "underage kids" and "college". I'm thinking beer will be plentiful. LOL!!!