I'm sorry, can you repeat that?

So... I couldn't even find a picture to go along with this post - because if I google any of the key words here, only p0rn sites come up.

Here's how it went down. Yesterday we went over to our friend's house for a cookout. Mary is also a patient at my office. I've known Mary for 25 years. Good friend. She married into our 'friend family'.

Well, the last time Mary was in, a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't there. I left early that day. Apparently Mary is having a tooth issue and needs to see a specialist. But hadn't called yet... so when I saw her yesterday I noticed that her jaw was swollen. She admitted that she was in some discomfort and had to take Aleve... but I told her she needed an antibiotic because she was swollen. She didn't want me to bother the boss, but this required intervention!!

So I texted my boss, and here is the volley of texts as it happened:

me: hey, at *****'s house, her LL jaw swollen, needs to call o/s tomorrow, antibiotic?

boss: yes what is pharmacy #, any allergies?

me: 973 555 0101 no allergies

boss: all done

me: thank you SO much

boss: that was an easy one

me: did you have a hard one?

boss: EXCUSE ME????????????????

me: OMG bwhahahaha please forget i said that

I may NEVER live this one down. I almost don't want to go into work tomorrow.

and sometimes...

it's bsgirl that 'these things' happen to.


We have patients, an elderly couple, that live in the retirement community next door to our complex. They are THE most annoying people on earth. Now, before you get on my case about being mean - seriously - if you were alone in a room with them for more than 5 minutes you would look around for an escape hatch.

They talk NON-stop AT you. And they ramble about all different things - and none of it applies to what you're trying to talk to them about. They talk NON-stop AT each other. And neither answers.

They were in last week. As the Mr. half was checking out, and rambling on and on and on... AT me... I im'd bsgirl behind me "HELP".

Now, normally when we need to get each other out of this type of situation, the one not occupied will go into the doctor's office and call the office from the second line. The occupied party will have to answer the phone, and that USUALLY makes the offending occupier hit the road. We make believe we have an emergency patient on the line.

Well, after I im'd bsgirl, she picked up the phone at HER desk. Which is 3' behind MY desk. And instead of dialing the office line, she just made believe she was placing an order for paper towels for the office.

Here's how it went:

"Hello, this is Inga at Dr. VV's office. I need to place an order."

"obvious silence on the other end"

"Oh, wait, let me ask Sandi"

Bsgirl leans towards me and says "How many cases should we order?"

at this point, the offending occupier is starting to move toward the door, but is still within 5' of me.

"Well, let me see. Ask them how much per carton, please."

"How much is it per carton?"

"Oh, $43.59? Let me tell Sandi."

Before I could open my mouth to respond to her, what do I hear? What does EVERYONE in the vicinity hear????

Yep. That annoying loud beep beep beep of a phone being off hook for too long.

I bolted for the back room.

Bsgirl sat glued to her desk with the beeping phone still to her ear, her eyes about as big as saucers.

It was truly priceless.