Yet... again.

My altoid tin... and I have it filled with things that haven't happened YET, but will.

Quirks and Obsessions

We all have them. There was a time I thought I was alone in my weirdness, but message boards and facebook made me realize that you people are ALL nuts.

My quirks have an OCD base. That's where they were born.

Like having to put on my left sock or left shoe first. It's a quirk, but it's part of my OCD'ness.

Now, being ascared of that pasta? Who knows... that's just weirdness. Or left turns? Probably from my accident 22 years ago, but you'd think I'd be over that by now.

I can't listen to a heart beat. I will never lay my head on someone's chest and listen. Freaks me the hell out. I almost passed out doing the StressEcho because I could watch my heart beat. I'm not sure why that is. Am I ascared that your heart will stop beating while I'm listening?

I obsess over myself. I pick apart every inch, mind and body. I obsess over other people. I become attached to inanimate things - like message boards and facebook.

Yet things that I should be ascared of.. I'm not. I love snakes. Spiders don't bother me. I love gore. I love disgusting things. I love horror films. Heights don't faze me in the least. I don't LOVE flying, (because I really hate crashing) but I don't let it stop me.

I eat the same things every day. I become attached to certain foods. Shredded Wheat cereal for breakfast. Low fat vanilla yogurt for lunch. Every day. For over a year.

Embrace your inner quirkiness. It's what makes you YOU. And I'm proud to be as weird as I am.

YET...

It's a little tiny word. But it's a word that I'm adopting for 2010. It's my secondary word.

To me it means my future. As in: I want this to happen, it just hasn't happened YET. Yet means it will happen. I don't HOPE that it happens, it WILL happen. I just need patience until it does.

I'm going to write a book. I just haven't done it YET.

I'm going to be happy. I'm just not happy YET.

Summer is going to come, it's just not here YET.

See? Yet. Little word. Big future.

Random thoughts...

My last night of bachelorette-dom. I have done a whole lotta nuttin' for the past 4 days. Work, home, eat, play on the computer, read. I haven't even turned the tv ON! And I don't miss it... (it being the tv - not the husband)

Had a good scare Sunday night - I was awakened at 2:30am by a female voice outside my bedroom window... peeked outside to see a teenage girl on her cell phone, huddled by the fence, 10 feet from my window. Stupid kid. I put the overhead light on for a moment, and watched her run away... the adrenaline kept me up the rest of the night. I did the same kind of stupid things as a teen, so I can't get too angry with her. But she cost me a night's sleep, so if I ever find out who she is, I will take revenge.

My word for 2010 is "Esteem". Because I need to raise my self-esteem, considering that it's down lower than the gutter. I try to tell myself every day that I am a good and worthwhile person. (I don't believe myself every day)

Work is challenging. Going through a very bad time at the office right now - lots of murky undertones... backbiting... anger. Seriously considering a career move. Like into retirement.

Still trying to resolve frustrating health issues... sometimes the cure is worse than the illness.

Still losing weight - and I know that I should stop now. But it's almost like a dare. I'm back to my old metabolism - able to drop or gain 2 pounds in a day... and I'm addicted to my walking.

Tomorrow I hit Day 175. That amazes me. I am almost at the 6 month mark. I never thought I could do it. But I'm so glad I did.

I did a LO about it.



And on that note... I think I'll go play on facebook.